Thursday, September 12, 2013

Passing the Roadblocks

So a lot of things have transpired. I'm quite frightened and incredibly stressed. I can no longer sit through a meal and I've been finding it increasingly hard to make it through the day. I no longer know what is in store for me. I have no idea what is going to happen to me in the next couple of days, let alone the next year. And I'm lost. I'm lost for words and I'm exhausted.

That being said, obviously these things are happening for a reason. And I don't want to feel the way I do right now.

I realize that I have hit a low and I know that things are not okay right now, but all I can do is hope for the best in the future.

I know that I might lose the things I have been working towards. And I know that I may lose the things I want the most in the next few days, but miracles happen and things will turn out in the end. Even if it's not in the way I expected.

So right now even though I am shaking with fear of what is yet to come and I can barely make it through a conversation, I know that this is just a point of struggle in my life and that I will survive.

And I will become stronger in the end because of it.

I will never let this stop me from becoming the person I want to be.

I really want to just shine a spotlight on the person who has probably been there for me throughout every thing that I have gone through in the last two years. Between letting me stay at her house three times for weeks on end because I had nowhere else to go, to letting me cry in hers and her mother's arms, to putting me on a plane so I could see family for Christmas, to treating me like family and talking me down when I needed it the most, to skyping me while she's cleaning the toilet, to watching Drake and Josh and Bridalplasty and Arrested Development and the many other shows we can watch for hours on end, to making clams, to always being ready to be my model when I have an idea for a shoot, and to just being there when no one else seems to be. She's done everything and more for me. I don't know what I did to deserve a best friend like her, but I am incredibly blessed.

Also- looking at this makes me realize that my hair has been a ton of different colors.

Currently on Repeat: I Know You Care by Ellie Goulding (Thanks to me watching Now Is Good earlier this week)


  1. haha you really have had a bunch of colors- i'm guilty of that also =P and it's SUCH a blessing to have best friends like that in life. i know not everyone has them, which makes me all the more grateful for mine. she sounds like a total sweetheart :)

    xo marlen
    Messages on a Napkin

    1. Thank you :) And she is haha best friend I've ever had.


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