Sunday, November 10, 2013

The Good Old Days

There are multiple things I pride myself on. But there are two things that I feel most strongly at the moment.

One is my ability to analyze and understand. I very strongly believe that I have a clearer mind than anyone I know. I've always been the type of person who watches the things that happen around them. I'm incredibly aware of my surroundings. I have this natural instinct to just know things are going to happen before they actually happen.

I'm someone most people I know go to talk to because I actually genuinely listen. I'm so interested in what other people have to say. I love listening to other people's point of views, regardless of what I believe or how I feel about a particular topic or situation. I find it fascinating. I think it's just so beautiful the way people interact and the way they perceive certain things. I listen without judgment. I don't tell you what you should or should not do. Just because I think one way doesn't mean anyone else is wrong. The world is not split up into right or wrong, or good or evil.

And the other main thing I pride myself on is my ability to see beauty in everything and everyone. There is a silver lining to every situation. And there's almost a tragic beauty to the vast spectrum of human emotion. Every tear, every slammed door, every drop of blood shed, every kiss, every argument, everything has a specific meaning behind it. Every single path we choose to take has a meaning. Life is so beautiful.

And I feel like so many people fail to see this beauty. How many people really take a moment to just appreciate their surroundings.

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days, before you actually left them" -Andy Bernard 

I feel like it's human's natural instinct to constantly want to move on rather than enjoy and value what they have right now. No one seems to want to live in the moment. And I'm guilty of this sometimes too, but especially in the last year, I've started to see things so much more clearly.

Beauty is in every person you meet and every relationship you have. Beauty is carried through every single conversation. Every single moment you have has a specific meaning to it.

How many times do you look back on the time you spent with a particular person and how much time do you spend reflecting on what you wish you did and your regrets, rather than what you actually did?

The people you have in your life right at this very moment, and the memories you are making, should be your number one focus. They should be the center of your world because time isn't going to slow down just for you and one day you are going to look back and wish you could relive this moment. One day you are are going to understand what you were missing out on when you spent so much time searching for your future rather than realize what's right in front of you.

Just live for every moment and enjoy where you are at in your life right now. Take chances and accept the hard times to make room for the better. Don't go searching for your future, let it find you. "The Good Old Days" are right now, don't waste them.

On Repeat: Next In Line by Walk The Moon

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Le Pays De Larmes

Last week on our way to the concert, we were pulling off an exit in St. Paul when we got stuck in some traffic and we noticed a couple firetrucks and ambulances and we were trying to figure out what was going on, when I noticed a guy sitting on the traffic sign on the outside of the bridge. And to be honest, it took me a second to put two and two together and I realized that all of the firemen were trying to talk the man down.

This guy had climbed the fence and he was literally sitting on the outside of the bridge, obviously in distress. And that image has been burned in my mind ever since. I don't know what happened to this man. I don't know if he jumped or if the firemen were eventually able to talk him down. All I know is that in that moment, I was scared.

Life is so incredibly fragile. We have the power to literally do anything we want with this life. We have the power to end it at any moment, sometimes by choice. I've been there, in that moment, when I could think of no other way past that pain. I've felt it. I've let that darkness engulf me.

I do not know what this man was feeling at that moment in time. And I never will. The thing about human emotion is that it's never the same.

You will never be able to truly understand what another human being is feeling because not everyone reacts in the same way. No one reacts the same way to any situation.

"C'est tellement mysterieux le pays de larmes" -Le Petit Prince

That's what I think makes it so hard for people to fully accept others without judgment. I don't feel the same as you, so in what way am I qualified to make a judgment about the manner in which you live your life.

I don't know this man. I won't pretend to know this man or understand what he was feeling. I simply know the image I have of him on that bridge. I do not know what drove him to that point. I do not know what was going through his head, but I have so much love for this man simply because he is another living creature and my life is worth the same as his.

I'm not 100% sure what I'm trying to say with this post. I guess it's more me working through what I've been thinking about, but have quite been able to say out loud in the past week.

I have never met a person who fully accepts other human beings and it makes me sad because not everyone is going to be the same as you. Accept others for the way they are because no one is going to fit the mold that you have in your mind. Because only when you fully feel that acceptance and when you finally live free of that judgment, will you be truly happy. I think that people live so caught up with searching for the perfect person in our minds, that we forget to just love. You'll never get close to another human if you live expecting them to think in the same way as you.

I think that it's just a matter of perspective. I don't expect everyone to see things the same way I see things, but that's okay. You aren't going to feel things in the same way I do and I don't expect you to. Be who you want to be, but don't expect anyone else to be who you want them to be.

Walk The Moon-First Avenue October 29th

So, I haven't written in forever. Nothing has actually been wrong, I've just kind of grown as a person. Life has also been crazy hectic with work and friends and a lot of things to work through. And things have kind of changed for me.
Life feels so much more clear to me now more than ever. Sometimes I slip up, and sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed, but in general, I am at peace. It's almost weird how much clearer I see everything. Life is so beautiful. I'm sad it's taken me twenty years to get to the place I am now. I have absolutely nothing holding me back from being happy.

Anyways I have more to write specifically about life, but that's for a later time.

I went to a Walk the Moon concert last week. Before the concert we stopped at this little Thai restaurant in the cities. Which was completely amazing, but of course, me being the smallest, I ended up getting the biggest meal out of the four of us. The entire bowl was bigger than my face. I ended up having to take almost the entire thing home for leftovers.

The concert was by far the best concert I have ever been to. I went to the concert simply excited because it was a concert. I liked Walk the Moon, but I didn't really know The Mowgli's and I had never even heard of Smallpools, but I left the concert happier than I had been in a long long time.

The entire atmosphere was simply amazing. All three bands were absolutely fantastic. And I definitely left the concert with three favorite bands. They were all equally amazing and I definitely almost cried more than once while Walk the Moon was performing, especially during Iscariot-wooow. But I'd really like to shine a spotlight on The Mowgli's.

During their entire performance, The Mowgli's talked about spreading peace and love. They were such genuine people. They are basically a band formed to spread love and joy and peace and kindness through their music. They really connected with the audience on a personal level. I'm not sure what effected me so much about their performance, but something about it just struck a chord with me and I was simply mesmerized.

All three bands seemed so incredibly genuine and their stage presence was by far the best I had ever seen.

All in all, it was a night that's going to be hard to top. Still going through post-concert depression.

On Repeat: San Francisco by The Mowgli's and Fixin' by Walk The Moon