Monday, January 27, 2014

New Adventures Through Old Endeavors


I've made a decision. I'm going to go back to school this Fall. I'm going to go back to school and I'm not going to allow anyone to tell me otherwise. How many days do I have left? Life is such a precious, fleeting thing. We are all under the impression that we will live to see a day that has not been promised. We put off making decisions because we are scared to make them, but what if we never have a chance to make those life decisions?

I went to Montana. I started school at my dream school and it didn't work out, but it is going to work out this time because I understand what needs to be done differently. I have already faced it once and I will not give up. Nothing can break me. I am at peace.


So here I am again. I'm going to go through this journey and I'm going to see where it takes me. I don't know where I will be come Fall, but I have an idea as to where I would like to be and that's what's keeping me going right now.

(1st picture is a quote from Looking For Alaska by John Green)

-Kaili

On Repeat: Doin' it Right by Daft Punk

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

When it's Cold Outside


It's below zero. And I am NOT going to go outside. No no no no no. Much too cold for this girl. And I'm getting sick so, it's probably for the best. I'm finding myself still unmotivated to do things. This is why I personally am not a fan of winter for the most part. When it's cold out, I never want to go outside. I hope it warms up soon. I was like the thirty degree weather we were getting.

So instead of going outside this is what I've been up to (besides working anyway):

Reading: 


I just finished Mindy Kaling's book. And let me tell you, this book is not for everyone. She doesn't have a filter, which I think is kind of great. I like that she just says things the way she sees them even if they may not always be what everyone wants to hear. I personally enjoyed it. I have a huge obsession with Mindy Kaling. I just loved reading how she got to where she is today. She worked for it and it's something I really admire. It definitely isn't my favorite book. And it's nothing compared to Tina Fey's bossypants (my obsession with Tina Fey comes nowhere near my obsession with Kaling, I'm sorry), but I really liked her voice.
Up next for reading: Nick Offerman's Paddle your Own Canoe and BJ Novak's new book of short stories, and The Great Gatsby because I've been meaning to read it for forever.

Drinking: 

Dr. Pepper and Hot Cocoa. I have a problem.

Notice my owls. Also, I've been eating WAY too much Chinese lately.

Dreaming Of: 


Moving to New York. I know that I'm as cliche as they come, but this is where I'd like to be someday soon. The thought of being so close to Broadway and to NBC now that's something I would love. I've always dreamt of one day working for NBC and I hope that one day that is something that happens.

Wearing: 



Some days I like to channel Rosie the Riveter

Watching: 


Parks and Rec, Breaking Bad, HIMYM

Rewatching:


30 Rock, The Newsroom

Waiting For:

Warmer weather of course, and the chance to go out and take pictures.
My trip to Chicago on the sixth of February to see my family for mine and my sister's birthday. I'll see you soon Chicago. Just bought my ticket the other day and it's all I've been able to think about.
The chance to move somewhere new soon. I just went to see an apartment. Crossing my fingers that I get it because I fell in love.
2015. Yes. I am waiting for the arrival of the next year. I really need to work on living in the moment rather than living in the future.

Hope you guys are having a lovely week,
Kaili

On Repeat: Fluorescent Adolescent by The Arctic Monkeys

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Stories from my iPhone




I spent an hour or so walking around town going through all of the thrift shops in my town as well as our used book store. I didn't buy anything and to be honest I was kind of bored. I love thrifting, but it's definitely not as fun without my partner in crime. Curse her for being out of state. 

Honestly, I was just trying to find something to do today so I could say that I didn't spend my entire day off laying in bed at home. Sleep is all I seem to do on the days when I am not working or the days I work during the day. KAILI YOU HAVE A WHOLE NIGHT AHEAD OF YOU. I feel like I never get out and do anything anymore. 

Still, I have to look at how far I've come since last year. I was in a job that didn't treat me very well, I was in a serious relationship that I knew was wrong for me at the time, I was living in a toxic environment, and I had just failed two of my four classes my first semester of college and I was just an all around sad person. I was depressed, but didn't even attempt to make a change. I wasn't willing to make a change because I thought that I was going be stuck forever. I'm glad for how much I have grown in such a limited amount of time. I'm proud of the things I have conquered. 2013 was the worst year of my life, but I won't let myself fall down that same path again. 

Well. The rest of my night is going to be spending the rest of my night watching 30 Rock catching up on Parks and Rec and dreaming about the day when Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are my best friends. And when Brian Williams and Nick Offerman are my husbands.  

I might delete this post later.

Until next time,
Kaili

Friday, January 10, 2014

And I'm Just Saying It's a Bummer Man


Today is a day to remember. I hung out with my friend, Vanessa. We really don't hang out nearly as often as I would like. And it's always weird for me when we do because of that. I think we should probably change that haha. But she was texting an old friend of mine from high school who I was super super close with, but who changed schools and stopped talking to me our junior year and she ended up giving her my number.

There's something amazing about reconnecting with an old friend. There are so many things to look back on and just laugh at. I'm not a fan of who I was in high school, but sometimes it's fun to just reflect on some of the memories I made. And it's crazy to think that I have friends getting married in just a few months. I mean, I remember some of their lowest moments and their heartbreaks. It's insane to me. And it was nice talking about that with an old friend today. And catching her up on the things she missed in the last two years of high school.

Anyways, today I spent most of the day walking around town with Vanessa and looking at my soon to be camera online (Canon 60d).






If you're curious at all about my shirt, you should look up The Front Bottoms. They are one of my favorite bands. Some friend and I drove down to see them in Milwaukee in November. They were the opener which I think a lot of people thought was weird considering we drove like five hours to see them, but it was completely worth it. They were amazing and I definitely got some eye contact in there. haha.


I don't have much to say today. You guys are my homemade mashed potatoes, biscuits and gravy.

Kaili

p.s. this post is pretty much me rambling and I'm sorry for that.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Motivation


sorry for the rather awful, boring pictures. I made the attempt to go outside to take some pictures for an outfit post, but unfortunately it was simply too cold for me to be out there for more than a couple minutes.

I've been feeling rather lazy lately. I know I addressed this in my most recent post, but I feel like I'm just getting worse and worse as the year progresses. It's been a week and I'm terrified that I'm going to continue to feel this way. I want to blame it on the weather outside, but that would be wrong.



 I have so many things I want to do. So many places that I would like to see this year and so many goals I wish to accomplish. I look at colleges online and I'm overwhelmed because what happened to me in the Fall was so horrible and heartbreaking that I'm scared it's going to happen again. I don't want to be so set on something and have it fail again. I can't afford school and that's a terrifying thought. Even with grants and financial aid, I'm never going to get the city feeling that I've longed for since I was a child. I no longer want to be in the Midwest. I want to experience new areas of the United States and the world.


I want to take pictures of new and exciting things. There are so many things I have on my bucket list. Small things like go to a Cherry Blossom festival and big things like graduate from college. And maybe to some people these things seem so easy and trivial, but for me, they are things that are not within in reach. And that's tough.

Anyway, this post was supposed to be out my lack of motivation lately. It's tough to feel so unmotivated. You can't really force yourself to do things and to be motivated because usually you just end up resenting it. I don't want to force myself to go out and take pictures every day when I just want to lay in bed. I'm trying to find things that inspire and motivate me.

Sorry for the terrible writing in this post. I guess I'm not sure where my head is at. How has everyone been doing as far as their new year goals go?

I was absent from the blogosphere when I took these pictures, but I figure I might as well show you a few now. I took these about a month ago for an exchange student my friend is hosting for her senior year of high school.



She's from Mexico and it was her first winter in the United States. So she got to compare Mexico and Wisconsin's weather haha. Definitely a new experience for her.








What motivates you and what's something you are really looking forward to doing in 2014? Let me know. I'm still searching for something that motivates me.

Kaili


Monday, January 6, 2014

Woo Woo Cold Weather

It's freezing. I gave a girl at work my shift today because I didn't even want to step foot outside today. I'm a wimp.
But seriously, all of the schools in Wisconsin/Minnesota are closed today and tomorrow because of the weather and some businesses are closed as well.
Originally I was going to write this post about my New Years "Resolutions", but then I realized that I don't actually like New Year Resolutions. I'd rather think about things I want to do in the next year. New Years Resolutions imply fixing yourself or your life and I'm not a huge fan of that. I don't want "fix" myself, I simply want to improve myself. I realize that that sounds like the same thing haha, but I'm really trying to focus on loving myself.

I'm not entirely sure of what I want to do in the next year, but I think that I should sit down and seriously sort out my priorities. I'm incredibly lazy, especially lazy. I feel like I use working full time as an excuse to sleeping all day and I'm really not a fan of that. There are so many things I could be out doing. I really need to take full advantage of my time when I have time free and I need to learn new things and become the person I claim to be.

I'd really like to become healthy this year. I'd like to start eating healthy, because I know that I allow myself to give into the voice in my mind from time to time. Starving myself isn't any better that binging on unhealthy food. I need to learn a healthy balance and I really need to start seeing myself in a positive light. This year I will NOT fall for my minds tricks. I will not starve myself, but I won't congratulate myself when all I'm eating are foods with absolutely no healthy value to them at all.

And I'd really like to become more healthy in my mind as well. I'm seriously considering sitting down and just writing out everything I hope to accomplish in the next year. And I need to realize who I am. No more talking myself down. I AM worth it. I will become the person I claim to be.

I'd also like to go back to school this year and really do it right this time. If anyone reading this has any ideas about a good school that has a good english/journalism/photography/communications program I'm all ears. College is expensive, but I'm hoping I can get some good financial aid.

I'd also really like to move. It's so difficult to think about packing up and moving by myself after the Montana disaster, but I don't want to be here. I want to expand my horizons and experience new things.


And I'll leave you with that. I have more goals, but I'm not going to share them with you at this time. I feel like I've wasted the first week of January, but I won't waste the rest of the year.

Also, I'll show you some pictures from my latest shoot. I made them get dressed up for me to do a family shoot as a Christmas present for their mom.









Note: He NEVER smiles for pictures. His mother was pleased.


Before I forget, one of the things that I would really like to do this year is get back in touch with my dramatic side. Theatre and acting has been a huge part of my life and I even started out majoring in it, but I feel like I sort of lost touch with it when I lost my way last year and I'd really like to get that love back. I miss it.
I watched Saving Mr. Banks the other night and I was reminded of that love. It even inspired me to watch Mary Poppins for the first time tonight.
Disney, Musicals, Acting, Broadway. There is just so much magic and I miss it like crazy.
 2010
ohhhhh high school theatre. those were the days. 
Have a lovely night,
Kaili

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2014

Hello.
It's a new year. It's a new me. It's a new blog.
I'm going to blog every week.
I should be moving into an apartment pretty soon which is exciting because I need my own place.
I haven't written in quite a while, but don't worry, that will change.
I'm promising myself right now that 2014 is going to be my best year yet.
I am leaving 2013  behind me.

Happy New Years,
Kaili