Friday, August 22, 2014

Judgement

I wrote this today. I posted it on my tumblr, but I liked it so much that I decided I would like to post it here as well. It really resonates with me right now and I hope that other people can understand where I am coming from.


I’m hurt. Incredibly so. And if you could read this I’d appreciate it.

I don’t wish harm on another human being. I couldn’t careless if we grew apart or we fell out or we just lost touch, there’s no way I would be cruel to that person. I would never talk about them badly behind their back because of their choices or even their choice to not be friends with me or mine to not be friends with them. 
Do not judge me for the choices I make in my own life that only affect me. I make my choices and you make yours. Friendship is a two way street.”You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.” -Audrey Hepburn
Be kind. Do not judge in a way in which you would not want to be judged.
Truthfully, who I was a few months, weeks, years ago is not who I am today. I am forever growing and changing and learning. The choices I choose and the paths I take have no bearing on you. Respect me and my life choices. 
I do not and I will never claim to be perfect. I make mistakes every day. I’m moody and I can be snippy when I’m in a bad mood. I’m nothing to look at. I see my flaws. I face them every single day when I look in the mirror. I face it every second I’m left alone with my thoughts. Do not try and exemplify my awareness. I can be crazy, neurotic and unkind. I can be quiet. I am nowhere near selfless. And I have made mistakes I can never take back
I’m constantly working towards a better me. And part of that better me is distancing myself from people who make me feel like less than I am and people who hold me back from growing into who I could one day be. Please do not pretend to know me when you do not. 

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Abandoned Once

Today a friend and I did something a little crazy and we went to Minneapolis to explore. We didn't stay long, but I really needed the adventure after the month I've had! So I figured I share some of my shots with you all.









I'm sorry I haven't really updated as of late. I think that as usual, I have a lot of things in my daily life I need to work out. Such as balancing life with work and friends with alone time, moving passed my past and trying to enjoy my hometown while I'm living in it. And I think that most of all I really need to look for what I can do to improve myself for myself rather than trying to be what everyone else seems to want for me to be. And maybe remembering that what other people say or think doesn't matter as much as what I do because I have the right to fully love myself even when I don't even think I deserve it.

Some updates as of late:
I had a few shoots with some of my film cameras and I'm incredibly excited to develop the film and see how they turn out.
I'm going to be an aunt again and I'm so excited for February to roll around.
I deferred my enrollment (AGAIN) to Montana for the spring of 2015, but I'm going to try to take some online classes until then.
And just some world/US updates that I'm sure you're already updated on, if anyone isn't already aware or educated about what's currently going on in Ferguson I kindly urge you to do so because it's important and should not be ignored if you want any information I figured I link you to a google doc that a friend of mine made to keep people informed: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BRH_k3vTOyTNyTUsAw61qZl8CqiRDi4_BzzXtj7dmeM/edit

Is anyone even still reading this? if you are, you should know how much I missed updating here.
-Kaili